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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Top 7 Worst Kissing Techniques Ever

Top 7 Worst Kissing Techniques Ever

Here are what I believe tobe the top worst seven kissing techniques ever.

1.The Katrina Kiss.

It is a kiss with entirely too much water. Remember Hurricane Katrina? Yes, just like that. You are drooled on, slobbered on and when the kiss is over, you feel the need for a towel and maybe a shower. Too much saliva everywhere! Hm!

Tip:If you have a salivary gland problem, or your partner just makes you drool with lust, try swallowing before you kiss!

2.The Iguana Kiss.

This is a true case of lizard lips! Crusty,crunchy and dry. If you run your lips gently across your lovers neck, cheek and lips, they shouldn’t be left with what looks like paper cuts.

3.The Prozac Kiss or Fast and Furious

Fast, furious, darting or high-speed swirling motions of the tongue reminiscent of a washing machine on the rinse cycle. Hm! Is it too much lust?

4.The Cave or Black Hole

In this instance your partner’s mouth is open so wide that your tongue meets nothing but air on all sides! There is no exchange of sensation. It’s like you’re kissing in a wide whole!

5.The Dirty Tom

Shave or grow the beard. You don’t know what it feels like to have sand papery stubble pierce the skin around your eyes or cheeks! With half her face scraped off, a woman feels less than romantic and is more inclined to get up to seek medical treatment than she is to get busy.

6.Trolling for Tonsils.

A little restraint on the depth of the kiss might be in order. If you have a tendency to extend your tongue to its full length in your partners mouth, how do you expect him/her to breathe

7.The Kiss of Death.

Ever kissed someone to be met by a smell of decomposition? How awful! Brush your teeth! Use one of the vast selections of mouthwashes on the market. Get a new toothbrush every 3 months! Visit your dentist and check for gum disease and cavities, both of which contribute to bad breath.

Have you discovered any more worst kissing technique? Leave us a comment

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